Monday, December 26, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
They always tell you sticks and stones can break your bones but they never tell you how much anger you'll have against somebody that's up in your face with morning breath. Besides me being pissed for the next hour because the smell lingers and my nose isn't the same anymore I probably won't stop thinking about for at least a week *yes, it's happened before*...waking up football Sunday like "got damn, whatshisname breath smelled like dragon's feet the other day." Morning breath really is something like a tragedy because you end up questioning a relationship or a friendship all because of it. "I like Ryan (a common unisex name) but sometimes their breath be on TEN and I don't really need that in my life right now."
Sometimes I think about leaving little anonymous notes to people so I can tell them how much their breath has offended me and probably others but I'm told that's frowned upon. There's probably only three people outside of my immediate family that I would tell to their face that their breath is kicking like Jackie Chan. We've all thought about addressing the issue face to face with someone we care about but how can you when there's no easy way to say OR hint that shit!? What am I supposed to give them mouth wash for a Christmas gift, Aquafresh as a birthday gift or just show up, "Hey, so I was in the store and saw some Ice Breakers and thought of you" nah....I 'ont think any of that shit will go over well.
We're all grown now, no one should have to force you to freshen your breath before you start communicating with people. I don't even like texting people that haven't brushed. It's simple....before you do anything do a private check, a pit check, and a potty mouth check. If you're running late three extra minutes won't be a significant difference, freshening up won't kill you but it might kill us! Aye, but if none of you can think of a better way to let these people walking around with hot wolf breath know how much they're hurting the rest of us then we'll definitely hook up and do an Occupy Protest!!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Story One...who is the wolf you ask? In this story he is a nice guy. Not the coward guy or the awkwardly social lab geek, but the guy raised to be a gentleman with a backbone...that nice guy. The wolf is cunning, cordial and charismatic. The wolf is all about progression and being positive. Of course the wolf has a story to tell, who doesn't, but he is also free from drama and emotional baggage. The wolf is a provider and a protector that's slow to trust and slow to anger. With a sophisticated toughness and a rational heart, the wolf does a lot to please and/or pleasure his woman because he has a heart of gold. The wolf doesn't do a lot of arguing, bickering or fussing with a woman. This guy sounds great right? Why the hell is he a wolf, wolves are bad right?! Well....yeah they kind of are, but only when they need to be. The wolf is unique, unconventional and often unnoticed to the common eye because everyone is used to it's domesticated relative.....THE DOG.
Free your mind from other's guilty opinions and envious criticism and your gifts, personality, and imagination will take you as far as you really want to go. Like a Boxing Referee always says...."protect yourself at all times." Fellas: wake up and learn there's more in this world for you to explore. Stop getting schooled by the same type of women(reminds me of that stupid Jamie Foxx song...fcking hate it). Ladies: men aren't an exact science but if you had to choose, why not a wolf? You already know what's down the road with that dog, that's why you're single or thinking about being single right? Plus....you can always teach a wolf new tricks! Lol
Friday, October 7, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
There seems to be a misinformed group of women amongst us with broken gaydars and insufficient experience with the heterosexual men in the 21st century. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not your typical manly straight man. I'm not all perverted with my masculinity, when you first meet me, and that's what most likely throws them off. I can do some manly handy man tasks effortlessly and I also do masculine activities that's a test to my athleticism, combative instincts and competitiveness. I can change a tire and check the oil. I can get a little thug for you, put a dude in a headlock cause he's running his mouth to a woman. I'll get dirty, stick my hand down the garbage disposal to unclog it, play football or paintball in the rain and mud. Shit, I'll even get gangsta and kill a spider for you.
Where their perception starts to get diluted is when they observe how I carry myself in addition to the masculine things I'm capable of. I have a fixation with being well groomed. I tried growing my hair a few times, it was brief though it only lasted about 3 weeks each time then I went back to showing off my wave encrusted Cesar haircut. I have an affinity for clothing. Not only can I dress myself well in an assortment of trends, styles and colors some masculine guys are afraid to try but I can dress a woman with little to no trouble. Swag.
I had the bittersweet pleasure of being raised mainly by women. My mother, my three sisters and my God Father Maurice. Two of my sisters are 2 and 9 years older than me and my God dad is a reformed (by Jesus & marriage) ladies man. So of course I could only be raised to be a mack daddy player that the ladies love. I've been groomed from a very young age how to carry myself as a classy well mannered gentleman and the type of things women like when it comes to dating men. My BDR (Bad D!ck Report) is clean and I have learned a lot that has gotten me a reasonable amount of attention, discounted meals, gifts and arm candy. I've only been stood up twice by Ebony and Kristin, I don't know what's up with them but you know a pimp keeps it moving. Haha
Yes, I know the difference between Ivory and White. Or just because it looks pink that it doesn't mean it is, could be Fuchsia or Salmon. No, I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm an avid Beyonce fan or that I watch Glee. I love music, Beyonce and every girl on Glee is fine and walking around in mini skirts and cheerleading outfits why wouldn't I watch them every chance I got! None of these things should tell anyone what your sexuality is, you know what they say about assumptions, yet we often judge and label people with little to no sensible reasoning behind it at all. I'm sure things won't change with the masses anytime soon but at least you'll understand O a little better.
I know they say "perception is reality" but, that still doesn't make you right. If your perception is fcked up how do you expect your reality to be precise. Just because I don't hit on you when we meet doesn't necessarily mean I'm not interested and therefore gay. It just means you could be some psycho bipolar gold digging stalker chick that I don't know well enough to trust with my phone number or of course I think you're ugly. I don't always like talking to strangers and I have standards that don't get negated just because she might have a disease free Honeycomb. I don't really make an effort to impress a woman until we're talking so most of the time what you see is what you get. If you're really that curious to know if a man is gay or not, muster up some intestinal fortitude and just ask. Most people are better at seeing the truth than they are at judging someone's character.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Look up PMS on Urban Dictionary when you get a chance, their definitions are amusing. Anyway, Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) is defined as a collection of physical and emotional symptoms related to a woman's menstrual cycle. So what's your excuse for being so emotional my brother? Do you still have the cooties some girl gave you in 2nd Grade? Your genetic makeup does not require your scrotum to shed it's inner lining once a month and discharge blood. There is no medical explanation for you to be as emotional as you always are. The moment a woman tells you that you are acting like a female should be indication enough that you need to make some significant changes to your manhood.
You embarrass us real men when you start acting like a "Real Housewife of Atlanta" over a female's Facebook status. No excuse for it bro! I highly doubt it was a subliminal message for you to see because you're too much of a bitch to be important but if it is...so what?! She didn't put you on blast, she didn't add your name in the status nor did she say a name that rhymes with yours. If it doesn't have your name in it there should be not one fck given about it. When she's feeling bold she'll talk to you directly.
Twitter & Facebook is exposing all the bitch made dudes these days. Stop overreacting to a guy writing on her wall or mentioning her on Twitter. She's allowed to have friends of both genders, she had them before you showed up right? Okay then, enough said. Stop spying on her and the girls that she hangout with. She told you she didn't feel good and didn't wanna come over to watch a movie with you, you see her girl post/tweet that she's going out with her and now you want to blow her phone up so you can throw a bitch fit. It's really a lose lose situation for you because she either feels she has to lie to you instead of straight up saying no thanks due to you being weak or she feels like going out with her girls is better than chilling with you, see, still weak bro. It would probably be best if you find some other chick because she obviously isn't letting you anywhere near her vagina.
A woman would be more impressed by the things that you can overlook versus the things that you overreact to. If she wants to write a status about you but not put your name it...make a mental note and keep it moving. If she doesn't want to come over and watch a movie, oh well, meet your boys at a bar or even better call another chick to come over. Accept the things you cannot change, it's really that simple.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Most times in an discussion there are those who "get it" and there are those who "don't get it." If you're the one who "gets it" in a particular discussion at some time during, you're going to come to a point where you just want to shake your head and say to yourself "they just don't get it" and BAM!!! Instantly you have pity on them for being ignorant. You're not happy for them...you have pity on them. Why...because they don't and won't know any better after that discussion. If you haven't changed their mind, waken them up to the fact that them being complacent and content to the way things are for them will effect their near or distant future in a negative way or their children's future in a negative way, then after that discussion they'll run right to the first person THEY talk to and THEY'LL tell them how absurd you sounded just then; they'll undoubtedly agree. And you're going around using the correlation "Ignorance is Bliss" when someone asks you how it went or what new did you learn about them from it. Double-U Tee Eff folks?! Stop doing that, hold people accountable for their ignorance, stop letting them off the hook...tell people how dumb they are so they won't waste their time saying the exact same things you JUST SAID. Granted, I don't condone gossip...but a warning is well justified after being aggravated to the point where you feel like mutilating a couple animals from that ASPCA commercial, because let's face it no one is going to miss them right?! O_O
Seriously, some of you know better (or at least after reading this I hope.) You're demeaning everything that the word bliss means to people by letting the fools get the pleasure of using it too, they deserve worse. So say it with me in your best version of a Redneck's accent......Ignorance ain't bliss, that's just darn right sad.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Last time I was on a team...was high school. I was on quite a few teams in high school too: Football, Baseball, Basketball, Track. We had matching uniforms...individual numbers though. Oh!...and there was a roster! Yup, sure was.....and even though at times I felt like we didn't need one, we had a coach. A coach to tell each player what their role was, what type of contribution we were to offer to the team. Well, it's been some time since I was last in high school, even though some would suggest otherwise from the way I act sometimes but I think a little immaturity keeps you young, *sidetracked for a second sorry* I got my diploma and I left the teams alone. I haven't joined a gang, I don't play collegiate or professional sports. In fact, most of society doesn't play on any team either. Why?...How the f*ck should I know?!
"There's no I in team" that's what people always say to us right...like we didn't pass third grade or something. Yes we know, there is no I in team. Not so fast...there is a "me" in there though. Which word do we really prefer "Me" or "Team?" Hard to choose right now huh? Of course it is, because most people want to be able to interchange between the two whenever he or she chooses. Notice how I didn't say they...because generally we let someone make the choice for the "team" all the while that person is really making the decisions for "me." Loyalty has been misused and taken for granted so much that I'm not sure people even knows what it truly means anymore. I'll give you the real meaning of it right now...since I haven't come out with my own dictionary yet and all. Loyal is when your fam (blood or friend) won't put you in any situation that can get you into trouble with the law, so you'll never have to choose between jail time or stitches. Loyal is when your fam drags you out the house to have a good time, even though they know you're broke, and pay for your expenses. Loyal is reaching a decision with me and not for me even if that means you have to waste your time to call or text me. Loyal is surprising someone with some of the money you owe them instead of telling them all the money you just spent at the mall. When someone is loyal there's no question if both of you will end up home and in a bed even though everyone was chocolate wasted. When someone is truly loyal to you a lot of agreements don't have to be spoken of. Not much has to be said in a lot of occasions actually.
Well you don't have a coach anymore and you are definitely not on any one's team. Start including yourself in decisions pertaining to YOUR LIFE. Stop letting him or her make those decisions for you. They put "me" first regardless if you're involved or not...so you start looking out for "me" first as well. You'll want to start soon too or you're going to turn 35 and spas the f*ck out like everyone else does. Am I saying everyone makes decisions this way even if they're family...even if they're your best friends...even if they're your significant other? Maybe....its possible...I'm not saying you can't trust ANYONE. I'm saying stop being a sucker....sucka.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
I've met a few wealthy people before, they were happy and
As you can see from the lenthy 2nd paragraph someone saying "Money Can't Buy You Happiness" irritates me just as much as someone whispering to me with bad breath. There are so many examples, from watching television alone, that people that have money ARE happy. Instead of simply telling me that money can't buy me happiness, because that won't teach me the lesson I need to learn to properly manage my finanaces in the future. How about you teach me how to be responsible and mature with my money. I know I may never obtain the amount of money they have, take the trips they take or buy the things they buy.....but I can definitley be happy with the money I do have. "Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out" -John Wooden. If you teach me how to be responsible and mature with the money that's given to me or I earn....I guarentee I'll buy the things I want and take the trips I want to take.....all without worrying about how I'm going to pay my bills or put gas in my car in between paychecks. But...most parents/adults never think about that, they just want to tell you "Money Can't Buy You Happiness" right before they take the money from you that your Grandma/Grandpa gave to you for Christmas or all the money you earned from that weak ass summer job that you didn't even want to have! (Yeah...obviously I'm still bitter about that. Wouldn't you be?!)...........ok bye.