Monday, December 26, 2011

The Curse To Care

    The title is kind of blunt, maybe a little too bold for your liking but you can't deny that it makes you question........A LOT probably. It's so easy to be careless. It's so easy to ONLY want to look after your own well being. I'll be the first to say I'm cursed with caring about mofos....way more than they deserve. I was manipulated at a young age to think that helping others as much as you can was the right thing to do. "Hey, I know I didn't do all I could have done to pay this bill, I guess I'll just ask O for some of his money." Yup, I was that guy...if I had it then you had it. And you might be lucky enough that I wouldn't even ask for it back because I was the type of guy to work hard, to take care of myself no matter what and hardly complain. I did that for so many years, fck, so many years dude...and it doesn't help that I have a good memory either. I remember when I was 7yrs old I let my sister "borrow" $10 and never got that back. I remember giving my mother money so my sisters could have everything they needed when they were in their extracurricular programs even though I couldn't do them. I'm still not sure if they depended on me so much because I was the "man of the house" or if they were taking advantage of me because I have more heart than they do. I am sure that my naive heart is why I'm not in my daughter's life right now though. Anyway, moving on.

    Caring all the time is hard and complicated. If you're a hard working person, an independent person, a person with a heart then I'm sure you struggle with deciding to complain, to be compassionate or telling someone to kiss your ass. The choice is ALWAYS yours, I'm not writing this to tell you not to care but to advise you not to care about others more than they care about themselves. Laziness, complacency, and selfishness are three character traits I don't tolerate anymore. If you didn't care about your phone enough to pay your bill then why should I. If you thought it was a good idea to beg for money to send your daughter to prom two weeks before being evicted why should I care that you're begging now. You get stranded somewhere so it's my responsibility to come 30-45mins out of my way to pick you up....if you didn't put them in that situation then you shouldn't feel any guilt when they need your help. Lazy will guilt the shit out of you until they get their way lol.  They say "The Person That Cares The Least Holds The Most Power" but that's just a fallacy they tell us to cause confusion between our head and our heart. You do have the power that's why they're coming to you in the first place, that's why they use the words "I need your help." Take a stand...take a stand for your own conscience because you won't find that many that will do it for you. You can be a good person and still say no. Don't get fcked over like Jesus did. Lbs (Laughing But Serious)

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