Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Lunch Time: The Best Time of the Day

According to me, the expert on all things that can't be proven by math and science, lunch time has to be the single most nostalgic, amazing, and therapeutic part of your fcuking day. I know you just thought to yourself that it's not....lie to yourself again and I'll slap the shit out of you. How dare you second guess how important lunch is to you! Lunch has probably been the most consistent thing in your life next to the entire cast of Young and the Restless. (Seriously I think that show's had the same cast since 1933)

When we were babies we had lunch...and we didn't even have shit to do! We didn't have a schedule, we didn't have anywhere to be, what were our shitty booty lil asses doing having lunch?! (I had lunch because I was a little boss of course, not sure you) Lunch was great in Pre-K wasn't it, because you knew after everyone finished you were about to go outside to push some girls on the ground, bully the weirdo's imaginary friend just for fun, maybe touching the playground attendant inappropriately because she didn't think you knew what you were doing so she'd let you get away with it...and then you'd take a nap before going home. Lunch was great in grade school because that's when you learned how to sell and trade your lunch to the spoiled brats who didn't know any better and you pretty much did the same thing you did at recess that you did in Pre-K lol. Lunch was so important in middle school and high school. Looking back of course you think "why?" and it still won't matter but lunch was just as important as Tina Fey laid it out for us in Mean Girls.

Who you sat with at lunch defined your social status somehow no matter how much you want to pretend like it didn't. You've probably already guessed how I acted after I finished eating and went outside..........YUP, STRAIGHT FOOL, much like Big Mike, Roland, and Slim in 'The Wood'

Out of all the history we've learned through the years, out of all the lessons generations before us tried to teach how come they never told us how fcuking awesome lunches would be for THE REST OF MY FCUKING LIFE. Since I've been an adult I look forward to lunch so fcuking bad dawg! Especially on days you don't want to be there, it's like your whole morning drags and drains the life out of you then suddenly you think to yourself "damn what time is it" slowly look to the bottom right corner of your computer screen and it's the exact time you want it to be...LUNCH TIME (Fcuk Yeah. Fireworks. Explosion. Marching Band. 'This Is How We Do It' starts playing in the background. More Fireworks. HALLELUJAH!) I think I'm excited most about lunch because I know I'm halfway day is almost over and I can get the fcuk out of here. You can run errands during your lunch, take something to the post office, go for a walk, go for a drive nshit, go to the store, do some online shopping, write a blog post (hehe), catch up on work or homework....whatever your heart desires sometimes.  

No matter how you look at it lunch time is a much needed break and it's here to stay [awesome].

Lunch is so awesome even unemployed people take a lunch.