Friday, January 13, 2012

10 Quick Ways To Lose The Honey Before You Get To Taste

1. Questioning or Criticizing Her Appearance.
Don't ask if it's her real hair. Don't ask if it's her real hair color. And don't even think about telling her that you don't think she needs the make-up she's wearing. You wouldn't ask Rihanna's fine ass ANY of those questions so don't do it to her, just live in the moment and worry about that crap when you're the one paying for it.

2. A Premature "Babe."
Don't be like this guy and regret that you said the word and now shit is super awkward! Just to be on the safe side...don't EVER use that word before she does. If you have to, might as well only use it right before you pull out the engagement ring. If she has never called you one of those affectionate labels, chances are she doesn't think it's serious enough for "all" that yet. Drive slow homie...

3. P. D. A.
A lot of guys have ruined their chances or had to start all the way over after poorly executing some public display of affection. The key [danger] indicator here is "PUBLIC." In public, if you fck up there's little to no chance of recovering. Your best bet is to wait until no one is around and there's minimal visibility, so less chance for humiliation and a better setting for her to just let you go for it. Walk to the car or her doorstep...shit like that.

4. Don't Be a Bitch Dude.
No whining. No complaining. Even if you have a ton of pet peeves don't mention it unless it's a legit medically diagnosed condition. Make sure you bring some confidence to your any means necessary. 

5. Controlling or Possessive.
Did that work out well for Marc? Did that work out well for Ike? Oh ok...Jada Pinkett-Smith gets to "do" whatever she wants. She's happy, Will's like him and work on SELF control and if you reach the Honey Pot you might be there for a long time. Jealousy doesn't look good on anyone.

6. Excessive Texts or Phone Calls
Don't do it. Stop forcing a conversation or you'll drive her crazy. When she hits you with two shorts answers in a row or the classic "k" convo is over bro especially if it's late. Only time it's allowed is if she's about to make you late to the movies. I hate showing up to a movie ON TIME, we should be at least 30mins early. Fck I look like sitting right under the screen when I'm paying $12?! "Shiiiiit, girl you better bring that ass." (That was in my pimp voice.)
7. Vulgar Compliments
Most's a TRAP. If she brought the girls to dinner it's only to test you. The way to pass this test and get a step closer to laying those Honey Buns on those new Martha Stewart sheets you just bought from K Mart is to be vague! Can't go wrong with a simple "you look great" or some other non specific adjective.
8. Don't Be Lame.
Those douche bag pickup lines that you laugh at on the internet...yeah leave that shit right where you found it. Women (who aren't in front of a camera) don't think it's attractive...just corny. Not many women are letting corny dudes near their canal of sweet nectar. Ask Nick. 

9. No Substance In Your Conversations.
There's really no easy way to coach this one, I just know it's a bad thing. Just try to have a little more to talk about than your ex's, Lil Wayne, sex and whatever you saw on E! News the past few days. None of that is gonna convince her that you can last a few rounds in the Hot Box, probably just gonna bore her to death. But hey...good luck bro, more for me.
10. Don't Be Her Social Media Buddy.
Especially if both of you are equally into social media then that might be a disaster waiting to happen. Regardless if you make a relationship official on Facebook or not...the other guys she knows don't give two shits about that. So if you choose to follow or friend remember you only have two choices that you can take to keep you in the game...First, get some thick skin. Second, hold your tongue. (Remember what I said about being controlling.)

These might not be so helpful if you're trying to date a hoodrat. But feel free to come back to this page in a few years when you mature. Peace...


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