Sunday, September 25, 2011

The Masculine Misconception of the Mellow Mack

    My spine isn't straight but as far as my sexuality, I'm a straight heterosexual male. Still, for some bizarre reason when a few women meet me they tend to think I'm gay. I'm always dumbfounded by this assumption because I'm not gay, not even a little bit. I've never thought about it and frown upon straight guys who enjoy rimming. So what gives me away to these women? What's my "tell" that makes them so sure of my sexuality being homosexual? I'm sure you're judging me already, haha, but I'm not a homophobe so I won't get upset at you for being wrong about me plus I'm open minded so I have some thoughts of my own.

    There seems to be a misinformed group of women amongst us with broken gaydars and insufficient experience with the heterosexual men in the 21st century. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not your typical manly straight man. I'm not all perverted with my masculinity, when you first meet me, and that's what most likely throws them off.  I can do some manly handy man tasks effortlessly and I also do masculine activities that's a test to my athleticism, combative instincts and competitiveness. I can change a tire and check the oil. I can get a little thug for you, put a dude in a headlock cause he's running his mouth to a woman. I'll get dirty, stick my hand down the garbage disposal to unclog it, play football or paintball in the rain and mud. Shit, I'll even get gangsta and kill a spider for you.

     Where their perception starts to get diluted is when they observe how I carry myself in addition to the masculine things I'm capable of. I have a fixation with being well groomed. I tried growing my hair a few times, it was brief though it only lasted about 3 weeks each time then I went back to showing off my wave encrusted Cesar haircut. I have an affinity for clothing. Not only can I dress myself well in an assortment of trends, styles and colors some masculine guys are afraid to try but I can dress a woman with little to no trouble. Swag.

    I had the bittersweet pleasure of being raised mainly by women. My mother, my three sisters and my God Father Maurice. Two of my sisters are 2 and 9 years older than me and my God dad is a reformed (by Jesus & marriage) ladies man. So of course I could only be raised to be a mack daddy player that the ladies love. I've been groomed from a very young age how to carry myself as a classy well mannered gentleman and the type of things women like when it comes to dating men. My BDR (Bad D!ck Report) is clean and I have learned a lot that has gotten me a reasonable amount of attention, discounted meals, gifts and arm candy. I've only been stood up twice by Ebony and Kristin, I don't know what's up with them but you know a pimp keeps it moving. Haha

    Yes, I know the difference between Ivory and White. Or just because it looks pink that it doesn't mean it is, could be Fuchsia or Salmon. No, I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm an avid Beyonce fan or that I watch Glee. I love music, Beyonce and every girl on Glee is fine and walking around in mini skirts and cheerleading outfits why wouldn't I watch them every chance I got! None of these things should tell anyone what your sexuality is, you know what they say about assumptions, yet we often judge and label people with little to no sensible reasoning behind it at all. I'm sure things won't change with the masses anytime soon but at least you'll understand O a little better.

    I know they say "perception is reality" but, that still doesn't make you right. If your perception is fcked up how do you expect your reality to be precise. Just because I don't hit on you when we meet doesn't necessarily mean I'm not interested and therefore gay. It just means you could be some psycho bipolar gold digging stalker chick that I don't know well enough to trust with my phone number or of course I think you're ugly. I don't always like talking to strangers and I have standards that don't get negated just because she might have a disease free Honeycomb. I don't really make an effort to impress a woman until we're talking so most of the time what you see is what you get. If you're really that curious to know if a man is gay or not, muster up some intestinal fortitude and just ask. Most people are better at seeing the truth than they are at judging someone's character.



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