My Letter To Irresponsible Sperm Donors

  I'm told it's rare to find a guy without a child (or children) these days. I've also noticed that it's even more rare that this guy will come without, and I really despise this phrase, "Baby Mama Drama." I'd very much like to eradicate that phrase along with the word "moist." I'm sure we'll all agree that it's never appropriate to drop an M-Bomb mid convo. 

  Irresponsible sperm donor, why is it that you wear your baby mama drama on your sleeve? Why do you think everyone wants to know that? You think someone is going to feel sorry for you or take your side, the irresponsible one? No way. You irresponsible sperm donors really infuriate me with a passion with your actions or lack there of, with your inability to self reflect, with your selfish ways putting yourself before the life you've created. You're so quick to verbally scorn this woman who carried, gained unwanted weight, lost countless nights of sleep, forced to buy new clothes, ate for two, got repetitively violated by their OB/GYN, God forbid had to be put on bed rest, and last but not least gave birth to a child (a task every woman claims a man could never do), she's the one doing you wrong?! 

  You irresponsible sperm donors don't seem to comprehend the importance of being a father figure but it's okay for you to be enraged when you're being taken to court for child support. 1st, I can't think of anyone on this Earth that doesn't want free money. 2nd, If that's what it takes to convince you to be apart of your child's life then you probably deserve it you pathetic excuse of a man. The circumstances of your situation is merely consequence......not cruelty. 

   If you're curious as to why I'm addressing you in such a disrespectful manner, irresponsible sperm donor, it's because I envy you simple as that. My daughter's mother......doesn't want me anywhere near my own child. Consistently tormenting my soul at the mention of men like you who prefer not to be responsible for your child's upbringing. She doesn't want my daughter to know who her biological father is. I'm being viciously punished for wanting to be noble, responsible and engaged in my daughter's life...now that's cruel, heartless even. I didn't get to witness anything that a father cherishes for the rest of his child's life......her birth, the first time she sat up on her own, her first crawl, the first time she stood up on her own, her first steps and her first words. It's damn near impossible for me to get a picture of my daughter.

  

  Here I am, actually wanting to spend all my money on children's clothes, pampers, bibs, sippy cups, Fisher Price toys, toddler books and annoying 'Yo Gabba Gabba' DVDs. Relentlessly fighting to be there for my daughter on her first day of school and every chapter of her life thereafter. And here you are irresponsible sperm donor, enjoying your single lifestyle, buying PS3s, going out to the club every weekend, taking mini vacays, watching your plethora of $40 Blu-ray movies on your 52 inch High Definition television instead.

  You sir, are a piece of shit and the thought of you, who's child is accessible, not taking of advantage of your opportunity when I don't have that leisure repulses me. When you get thrown in jail for failing to pay child support I won't have any sympathy for you.

              Sincerely, O