Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Hey, Let's Do a Occupy Bad Breath Protest!!

    In the growing trend of changing this country for the better, can we add morning breath to the the little guys (no pun intended) like me can wake up and have some peace of mind that our personal area won't be violated by another adults morning breath. I know that you know what I'm talking about too! We've all been violated here and there by some stranger or sadly by someone we already know. Morning breath is borne when a person has been sleep for 4-8hrs and when they've awaken their breath smells like camel's spit, lemons, drake's tears, and rick ross' sweat wrapped in a ball of fire. The only thing worst than morning breath is a person not realizing they havvvve morning breath. Personally I don't think it's hard to miss because some days as soon as I wake up I can feel the heat in my jaws and I run STRAIGHT for the Colgate.

    They always tell you sticks and stones can break your bones but they never tell you how much anger you'll have against somebody that's up in your face with morning breath. Besides me being pissed for the next hour because the smell lingers and my nose isn't the same anymore I probably won't stop thinking about for at least a week *yes, it's happened before*...waking up football Sunday like "got damn, whatshisname breath smelled like dragon's feet the other day." Morning breath really is something like a tragedy because you end up questioning a relationship or a friendship all because of it. "I like Ryan (a common unisex name) but sometimes their breath be on TEN and I don't really need that in my life right now."

    Sometimes I think about leaving little anonymous notes to people so I can tell them how much their breath has offended me and probably others but I'm told that's frowned upon. There's probably only three people outside of my immediate family that I would tell to their face that their breath is kicking like Jackie Chan. We've all thought about addressing the issue face to face with someone we care about but how can you when there's no easy way to say OR hint that shit!? What am I supposed to give them mouth wash for a Christmas gift, Aquafresh as a birthday gift or just show up, "Hey, so I was in the store and saw some Ice Breakers and thought of you" nah....I 'ont think any of that shit will go over well.

    We're all grown now, no one should have to force you to freshen your breath before you start communicating with people. I don't even like texting people that haven't brushed. It's simple....before you do anything do a private check, a pit check, and a potty mouth check. If you're running late three extra minutes won't be a significant difference, freshening up won't kill you but it might kill us! Aye, but if none of you can think of a better way to let these people walking around with hot wolf breath know how much they're hurting the rest of us then we'll definitely hook up and do an Occupy Protest!!

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