Tuesday, February 14, 2012

3 Reasons Guys Should Like Valentine's Day Dammit *Sam Jackson's Voice*

Ah....the calendar day of LOVE. The day where you get a pass on Sexual Harassment in the workplace because we're supposed to show affection. Honestly, I've come to the realization that I might actually like this Holiday. Go ahead you can call me weird but my opinion will probably stay the same...and here's why!

1) FREE HUGS. If you don't appreciate a good hug from an attractive woman, a flirtatious cougar, a girl with nice boobs and an okay face, or even the crush you've been dying to break the ice with...than you need to step into my office so we can reevaluate this over zealous sad fucking life you're living. Oh and, real quick, all those women probably WANT a hug from you too. Don't you like giving women The D, I mean what they want, bro!?


3) COMPETITION. There's absolutely nothing I enjoy more than seeing the look of adoration on my Valentine's face when I make her day--A happy pussy usually results in a happy penis. Also, I get equal enjoyment from others expressions of envy. When your gift is on point that usually means 3-5 women are mad as hell that you weren't their Valentine which means there are 3-5 men that wanna kick your ass for showing them up. So THAT means you just shit on 6-10 people at one time, how cool is that?!

On February 14th...I'm happier by making more people jealous. I may not like what the implicates, that if you DON'T do anything for your girl or guy than you DON'T care, that's not fair because it definitely should be done way more. But I play the game...you should too.

1 comment:

  1. Ummm, as your Valentine I now feel strange reading this...haha