Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Marriage: The Forsaken Dream

Marriage has a black eye in the eyes of many, maybe two broken ribs, a busted lip, and a missing tooth. There's such a bad perception of marriage right now that the government won't even let gay people get married. We both know that has nothing to do with it but I wanted to slide it in there anyway. I'm not old enough to know exactly when marriage started on this slippery slope nor am I looking for it because I don't get paid for research and you didn't come here for facts, lol.

We live in a time where men are praised for being players and women are saluted for being strong and single. Monogamy is not encouraged and commitment is viewed as a hindrance to free will and ambition. Women are bitches. Men are assholes....basically a bunch of "glass half empty" fueled opinions. I know that negativity dwells in the forefront of our conscience far better than the positives, but it's definitely something YOU CAN change if you make the effort.

I'm no stranger to seeing failed marriages or witnessing a couple rush in to that sacred union then start the divorce papers before they can even move in together. Get hitched, have three kids, go through hell, then suddenly seem happier once they separate. There have been a few that I thought would "make it" and 10+ years later their marriage is shit too. Even after witnessing all that...I don't think being married sucks. Divorce sucks. People in general suck. But marriage, that shit "SHOULDN'T" suck.

I don't think the titles 'Husband' or 'Wife' come with a job description. Sometimes it seems that's where it all goes wrong for some men and women...having a "list." A woman has to cook, clean, stay home with the kids, watch football, eat sour patch kids, wear lingerie to bed on Saturday nights, have food on the table when a man gets home, be a freak, and lets not forget the old testament favorite...be obedient (no questions asked). A man has to take the trash out, cut the grass, get his woman's car washed, man the grill at cookouts, open doors, give a woman his jacket when it's cold, and let's not forget every woman's new favorite...catch a grenade for her. (1st, fcuk that. 2nd, even if I catch the damn thing it has a 45 meter radius so you're dead anyway. 3rd, how the fcuk did you make someone mad enough to want to kill you with a grenade?! Not a gun or a knife but a fcuking grenade?! Either you take cover with me or you're...well I hope you think of something clever heaux.) 

Being shallow and a Sagittarius, I'm already hard to please. Not because I have high standards or only desire a specific body type or ethnicity but because I'm uncompromising to the obsolete, irrational, traditional views on relationships. Besides this blog, I don't voice my opinions on people without their permission or only at their request. I mind my business. I have that same point of view when it comes to any woman I'm dealing with. I'm not a licensed therapist. I'm not a pastor. I'm not your parent. So therefore it's not my job nor is it my responsibility to facilitate any type of transformation your personality needs to go through in order for you to be a rational adult and own up to your strengths and more importantly your weaknesses. 

I don't believe marriage is something you do because you love someone.You can love a lot of people...easily. I don't think marriage is something you do because you have a child with someone...you can have a child with a lot of people...easily. You marry someone because they're perfect for you. Just the way they are. 

I'm going to teach my children to always think before you speak. Don't make decisions when you're emotional. Just because someone is mad and screaming at you doesn't mean you have to respond. Always see and change what they're doing wrong before they place blame on anyone. That you can always be a good person no matter who hurts you. Never to let anyone change the way they think or do things so someone can love them more. To love to do the right thing, not because some book, tv show, or horoscope tells you to, but because you want to. Take your time with love because people with bitter feelings over their past eventually show their true colors. And that marriage isn't something you do because you love someone it's something you do when it's the only thing left to do in your relationship. 

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